And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
