Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
