...so i touched it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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