party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
