the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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