I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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