is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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