we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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