I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
