We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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