Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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