ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
