Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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