You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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