My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
