There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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