All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
