Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
