From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
