My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
