i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This girl is more easily done than said...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
