Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize