The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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