What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
