its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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