I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
