So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
