Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
