i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.