I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer