So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
