Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
