By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
