Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
