i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
