david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
