that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
