Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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