That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
