i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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