hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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