You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
