how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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