I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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