I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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