We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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