Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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