don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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