god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize