i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
