but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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