i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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