If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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