I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
